It hung thick around them. Jason could almost feel the weight on his shoulders, pushing him farther down into the uncomfortable hotel room desk chair. Grant sat on the bed, his head down. The statement hung there, in the air, suffocating them. Small pieces of thread met their fate at Grant’s fingertips as he weighted his response. Jason watched as the younger man’s body tensed and released with each thought, emotions passing through his features. He sat, not moving, not wanting to provoke. The temperature seemed to rise in the room as they suffocated in the silence. Jason realized his breaths had been coming quick and shallow when Grant finally cleared his throat. “I… I don’t know…” It came out a whisper, cautious.
Jason nodded and looked down at his hands.
Grant’s mind was reeling. He didn’t know what to say, how to respond. Emotion after emotion rippled through him, but none settled long enough. Anger seemed the most appropriate, as did pain. The pain was what stayed the longest, ripping through his heart. It radiated throughout his whole body. A silent sob escaped his lips. Jason stood up as if to come comfort him, but a hard glare sat him back down in the desk chair. “Why?” Grant choked.
Jason’s eyes clenched shut. He didn’t have a good answer. There really was no answer. “I don’t know, G.”
The anger finally settled itself in Grant’s bloodstream, growing stronger with each systolic cycle. He stood up from the bed and closed the gap between them. “You don’t know?” he erupted, bending down, one hand resting on the edge of the desk, his face inches from Jason’s.
He looked up into the deep brown eyes that had comforted him so often and was met with angry deep pools. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, not breaking eye contact.
It hurt to breathe. The air was almost too thick with emotion, pain, silent suffering. Jason wanted to escape. But he couldn’t. But he would do anything… anything…
Grant breathed deeply in front of him, his face contorting, trying to find words that fit, but none escaping. His eyes closed, pain and hurt written across his features.
Jason leaned forward before the man in front of him, breathing fire through his nose, could walk away, pressing their lips together softly. A small, chaste kiss that wasn’t returned. Pulling back, Jason licked his lips, knowing that might be the last time… last kiss…
Grant opened his eyes as a small tear, barely visible, slid down his cheek. “Why did you sleep with Dave Tango?”