You Ruined Me – Zak/Aaron

Aaron sat on Zak’s front porch steps. The rain poured down in front of him, splashing onto his shoes. Zak wasn’t home, but Aaron had made up his mind. Tonight was the night. He was going to wait for him to get here, even if it took all night. He knew where he was and who he was with. The only fear he had was that Billy would come home with him.

I could be the first to let you know
That nothing means anything
Now I’m standing here outside your door in the pouring rain

Aaron leaned back against the front door. He heard Ridley claw at it with his little paws and whimper. He knew who was on the other side. Closing his eyes, Aaron hoped that Zak came home that night. He didn’t want to be out here still in the morning. That would look desperate, and he wasn’t about to look desperate. Of course, he knew it probably wouldn’t go like it did in his head. It probably wasn’t going to be the fairy tale that he envisioned. It’s not like he planned on this.


I can’t be with anyone since I felt our worlds collide
It’s like I almost died

He had felt this way for awhile, but he figured Nick had been with Zak. One night Aaron had the balls to bring it up to Nick as they lounged in front of his lagoon. Nick smiled and blushed a little. He had confirmed that they had an affair of sorts. It was an emotional affair, a mental connection that could never be broken, he explained. Nick said that Zak wanted more; he wanted the physical connectedness but Nick just wasn’t willing to give him that. Then, he said, that was when he brought on Billy.

I will be the last to let you down

Nick told Aaron to tell Zak how he felt. With Nick’s support, he built up the nerve to come out here and wait. Headlights pulled into the driveway as the garage door started to open. The Jeep paused in the driveway, blinding Aaron momentarily with its headlights, before pulling into the garage. Zak stepped out and Aaron waited for the passenger door to open, but it never did. “Aaron? You ok, bro?” Zak asked, hitting the garage door button on his keychain before walking up to him.

Aaron froze.

You ruined me

“Aaron?” Zak asked, getting closer. He unlocked the door, opening it. Ridley ran out, sniffing and barking all around their feet. “Dude, go inside, its pouring down rain. How long have you been out here?”

Aaron walked into Zak’s house in a daze, Ridley happily following behind him.
Zak set his keys down by the front door, ushering him into the living room and sitting him on the sofa. “Are you ok?” he asked again.

Aaron noticed his shirt, so tight against his body; his jeans were loose enough to not give anything away. He sighed. “I came to tell you something.”

“Dude, no,” Zak started, standing up and walking around the room. “You are not quitting on me. You can’t quit on me. We’ve been here before, bro. We need you. What would Nick and I do without you?”

Aaron shook his head, “No. I’m not quitting.”

Zak sat down again. “Ok, ok then. What’s going on?”

Aaron took a deep breath. Here it goes.

Now I can’t breathe, nothing’s how it’s supposed to be

Song: You Ruined Me by JC Chasez, all song lyrics are in italics

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