Zak lay there, watching the numbers tick on the clock on his bedside table. Nick’s body was nestled snugly behind him, one arm thrown over, forehead buried in the back of his neck. But he knew it wouldn’t last.
I’ve been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I’ve been laying here praying, praying she won’t call
Soft lips met his shoulder blade as Nick shifted. “You ok?” he whispered sleepily.
Zak sighed. “I don’t want you to leave tonight.”
Nick sat on the edge of the bed that he had sometimes shared with his wife over the past 10 years. His gold wedding band felt heavy on his fingertips. The filtered sunlight coming through the curtained window seemed to shine directly on the engraving he remembered special ordering so long ago. Love you forever. His parents had told him to wait. Why did he want to get married so young? He didn’t really understand then why he wanted to get married. He was 19. He thought he was in love. This was the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with and maybe raise a family. Then they started planning for their wedding. Nick could pinpoint the day he fell out of love with his wife. May 19th. Zak and Nick’s first unofficial date. Nick had called him on the premise that he wanted to discuss the music for the wedding, as Zak was deejaying for them. When Zak got to the small restaurant, Nick had admitted that he didn’t call him to talk about music. He spent that night and the next at Zak’s apartment. Continue reading
Zak lay in the middle of his cold living room floor staring up into the rafters of his ceiling. He contemplated dragging himself to his dungeon, letting the darkness engulf and heal him, but even that, he thought, wouldn’t take away the pain. There had never been so much emotion uttered in a single word. Sorry.
Zak’s bones hurt. He didn’t know that it was possible to have your bones hurt so bad just because of grief. Maybe he should find a more comfortable surface. No… the cold, hard floor fits right now. Plus he didn’t think he had the energy to move. Everything was zapped out of him, right here, in his living room. With that one word and a cold metal key pressed into his palm. Sorry.
Nick groaned, rolling out of the motel bed and shuffled his way to the door. He sat and listened to Zak pound on the other side for a full five minutes, but apparently the man wasn’t giving up. Leaving the chain on the door, he opened it slowly. Zak fell forward as the door opened, pushing the chain taut. “What the fuck?” Nick asked. The stench of high dollar whiskey seeped out of his pores, assaulting Nick’s nostrils. “You’re drunk.”
“Lemme in,” Zak mumbled.
“No, go to your own room,” Nick said, attempting to close the door.
“No, please,” he whined. “I can’t fucking find my key.” Nick groaned, unchaining the door. Zak stumbled in, landing in the chair across from the bed. “Thanks.”
Zak looked through the haze at the man standing in front of him. Nick. He smiled, pulling him in closer. The smell was wrong. He wrinkled his face, running his hands up this stranger’s chest. “You’re not Nick.”
The stranger shook his head, but smiled. “I can be tonight.”
Zak pushed him away. No, he’s not Nick. He’s not good enough. Where was Aaron? Aaron would understand. He always understood. “Aaron?”
The stranger came closer again. “He’s busy.” Insistent hands pulled at his waist, fingertips dancing under his shirt, touching his skin. Zak’s heartbeat faster as he scanned the crowd over the stranger’s shoulder. Continue reading
Zak sat across from Nick at the small hotel bar, Nick’s cell phone in his hand. He had no words to explain the picture in front of him. There was nothing he could say. I’m sorry even seemed cliché. “Did you sleep with him too, Zak?” Nick asked, his words full of pain.
Zak shook his head. “No.” That was the one solace he had. It had just been a kiss. A very poorly timed, public, kiss. “Who sent this to you?”
“That doesn’t matter.” Continue reading
A Songfic
JC was throwing shirts and pants in his suitcase when Justin walked into the room, cursing himself every time he missed. “C..,” Justin started.
JC stopped midmotion and his shoulders slumped. “Justin don’t, please. Just don’t.”
There’s no one quite as blind
As a victim of the game
